Why Can’t They Just Get a Job?

I remember one time I wrote a story about my changing perspective around one of the most common statements that people make, “Why Can’t They Just Get a Job?”. Many people have said it and I am guilty of this myself. I recently attended a workshop where I had a learning moment that changed my perspective on how we manage female veterans’ trauma and safe housing. The moment reminded me of another learning moment earlier in my career.

I remember the moment when the lightbulb went off for me. It was in 2018. I was giving a tour of our tiny house village and I saw one of the new villagers getting checked into her new home. Her and her husband both looked exhausted and for some reason the look of pain in their eyes still sits with me today. I introduced myself and went on about my tour.

The next week I saw them both at a weekly Life Skills Class. They did not look nearly as tired and she had a spark in her eye’s that was not there the week before. I remember them being asked what had changed; and she explained that she was now able to sleep at night.  The story I heard broke my heart, but also changed it.

The couple had been homeless for a few years. The husband had a job at the local mill where he worked the graveyard shift and this left his wife by herself at night. Due to the dangers of being alone and homeless as a female, she could not sleep at night. She had to stay awake and stay vigilant for fear of being attacked. Once her husband got off work, they would often have to go to appointments and run errands. As a result, the only time when it was “safe” to sleep was in the middle of the day when the entire world is out and about. Then as soon as they got some rest the cycle of survival starts over again.

After hearing this, I remember thinking to myself, that I have made judgmental remarks about the unsheltered without ever knowing their story.

Have you ever camped before?

It’s expensive. Extremely expensive. The costs of food for the homeless is higher because they can’t store perishable food. As a result, nutrition often goes out the door because your food has to travel with you and not be perishable. This creates some compounding effects the longer someone is homeless.

When a person is homeless they often lack access to amenities to shower, use the bathroom, and do laundry. As a result, hygiene takes a big impact. When you consider how dangerous it is sleep at night; you have a recipe for an exhausting cycle of survival and trauma.

Everyday your energy is spent meeting your basic needs but never getting ahead or having time to work on moving forward.  Over time this breaks people down and can lead them into chronic homelessness (long term).  Coming to this realization of how hard it is changed my heart for better. Even with my lived experience, I still did not realize how deep the well of homelessness truly was. It takes help to get out once you fall in.

Do you have beliefs about the homeless that hold you back from helping and understanding?  

Are there ways that you can help others learn about the challenges of being homeless?